Carrying joy inside

            “Whatever we once had that was beautiful, but is now gone…is inside us now. The ‘beauty of beauty’, the ‘joy of joy’ is never lost.”

            I love this quote by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. As I’m going about my days, full of energy and able bodied, as I’m digging in the earth or holding a child’s soft hand or teaching a dance class—all of these things that I love so much—I sometimes think of what life when be like when I can’t do these things any more or when my children are grown.

            What will fill my days then? Will I be sad, lonely, lost, without my kids in daily life and without so many of the pursuits that make me feel alive and that anchor me and give me purpose in my life?

            How did my grandma, who loved to cook so much and to show love through her cooking feel when she was unable to cook anymore? She never expressed outward sadness to me about it when she gradually lost the ability to make meals like she used to, or when she turned to heating microwave meals or making sandwiches. Later she couldn’t manage even that anymore, and later still I sat with her and spoonfed her as she worked to recover from a stroke. She lit up like a Christmas tree when my dad visited, her son and her tie to her life as a young wife and mother. I think she carried the joy inside.

            “All that has ever been beauty and joy and love in your life, no matter what happened next, no matter what broke, or became unable, or died or went away…all the beauty and joy and love in your life is inside you now.”

            I hope to dig a little deeper, hold on to a hand a little tighter, to dance just a little more and to soak up the feel of the breeze on my face and to carry that joy inside always.

‘The world is yours; be the one who stands out’

Commentary
By Krista Bocko

I’ve always loved words. They amaze me in that, when strung together like beads on a string, they can form lovely, complete, and succinct works of art.

There are so many strings of words (aka quotes) that speak to me, and I collect them like crazy. Here are some words that I love, with the theme of living an authentic life.

First, this thought from American poet Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of “Women Who Run with the Wolves:”
“The world is yours. Be, if you like, the one who stands out. The one who goes where others do not. The one in the picture to be circled in red as ‘not likely to be found here.’ Like any Aunt Edna. Anywhere. Any time.

“You were born free. Take it back. Take it all back. It is fine that you take up plenty of space on planet earth. Despite addled nay-sayers to the contrary, it always has been so that you were meant to be."
And these thoughts from American business magnate and inventor, Steve Jobs, co-founder and chief executive officer of Apple:
“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

“Your time is limited, so, don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma , which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

No, those aren’t my words but I wish I had written them because they certainly speak to me.

Tending to the creative fires more important than a clean kitchen

I was standing in my kitchen a few weeks ago talking to my friend that just moved here.  I haven’t been to her house yet, and as she stood in the chaos that comprised my kitchen that afternoon, she remarked how she wouldn’t feel apologetic to have me over to her house after having seen mine. 

            I laughed.  Good, because I want people to be comfortable in my house, and while I do prefer clean and clutter-free to messy, that’s not my reality most of the time.  I can’t stress out about it too much, or I’ll miss out on what’s most important to me, which are people and relationships and following my path of what I think makes this world a better place.

            My friend and I stood there in my messy kitchen and talked about how we fiercely hold on to what we’re passionate about and we make space for our creative fires to burn hot and bright, even though that often means letting go of other things, because when it comes down to choosing between tending our creative fires or having a clean house, we go with the fire tending.      

            Should we feel guilty?  Nah.

            Later I was re-reading a passage in one of my very favorite books of all time, Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ Women Who Run With the Wolves, and I read this: “I’ve seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write…and you know it’s a funny thing about house cleaning…it never comes to an end.  Perfect way to stop a woman.”

            Estes talks about the wild creative force flowing into each of us like a river, and will we pollute it or keep the waters clear?  Our creative ability is our most valuable asset.  I love that.